Life in the 21st century

I am in a relation now.

A troubled one.

K and I have been together for almost eight years but only recently, two years ago we moved in together. The simple fact that it took me almost six years to make that decision, has always been an issue between us.
Very understandably, K considered my hesitation to live together as a lack of commitment.

Three months ago I took the very difficult decision to move out. It is not easy to explain what my motives were. I felt caged, I simply felt bad. What I did know, was that I needed a break, a period of 'calm water'.

K is not happy with the situation. This clearly is not her choice and she feels like I let her down completely.

We started to talk.
And then we talked again.
And then we talked even more.
Slowly, very slowly, we even started to tell each other 'secrets' we have been hiding all these years.

I am Dominant but I buried these feelings over the years. Now time has come that I no longer want to do so. It was not easy to reveal this 'secret' to the girl I have been together with for so long.

But I did.
And she understood what I meant.
And she was even interested to try walking this path with me.

This blog is the story of my (re)start into this life. And it might also be the story of K and I taking our first steps into this lifestyle. Maybe it will be a glorious journey, maybe it is going to be disaster. I honestly do not know.

Putting my thougts here into the open, will help me to understand better what this journey means to me.

It will certainly deepen my knowledge of myself and my knowledge of my desires.